roleplayaskmemes:

• “You’re my best friend, you’re supposed to tell me when I’m dating an asshole.”
• “Bro-date, just you me and some nachos.”
• “As your friend I’m allowed to tell you when you’re being an ass and you’re being an ass.”
• “Remember that time we pretended we were dating because that creep wouldn’t leave you alone? Good times.”
• “You’re not alone, you’ve got me.”
• “Only you would find my offensive jokes funny.”
• “I’ll be your wingman!”
• “I know what you need, ice cream and a bad movie!”
• “No wonder people think we’re a couple, we eat pizza naked together.”
• “Please don’t tell anyone, I trust you.”
• “Don’t push me away, you’re my best friend.”
•  “You’ve told me that story twenty times already.”
• “You’re such a bitch/jerk, it’s a good job you buy me food.”
• “Someone was talking smack about you, long story short I spent a night in a cell.”
• “I’m only saying this because we’re friends, you can do so much better.”
• “They think we’re together, I think we should play along.”
• “No homo, but I love you like I love pizza.”
• “I know we’re not kids, but I really think we should have a sleepover.”
• “Are you eating my food?”
• “Ugh, I can’t stay mad at you.”
• “You borrowed this three months ago, can I have it back?”